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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Weakness and Steyemah

Sometimes I end up feeling hopeless with the Ste'ye'mah. After all I insist on attributing human feelings to them even though they do not necessarily have them. I guess it is the human part that is in all of us that makes me do it. Ki'ho'sa does have feelings of territory and loyalty..they do laugh which means they have some type of humor...even if I do not always understand it. Anger I know as well they have. Sadness yes...but then there is the alien side...having to look at an animals eyes as it dies...freaks me out. They play with the food...like a cat with a mouse. I have watched them many times do the voice throwing to scare the animals and listened as they whoop with joy at it;s fright. Too strange for me. Gutting and pulling eyes out and leaving them wth sticks stuck in them is very cruel to me. Watching them break a leg on a deer to leave it for later as it suffers has caused me to have to run in fright because I have stabbed it to kill it( I do not use guns when with them). I will never get used to it I am afraid which makes me weak in their eyes and mine too.